


Two Boys Kissing

by Again_n_Again



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: BJ's out of this world, F/M, Figure Drawing, First Time, M/M, Model Adam, Pining, Ronan loosing his shit all over the place, a bit of Blue and Gansey, mostly Pynch, my first real smut I guess, some sexy time stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-16
Updated: 2015-10-16
Packaged: 2018-04-26 15:58:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5010871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Again_n_Again/pseuds/Again_n_Again
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blue needs someone to pose for her, so she can build up her figure drawing portfolio....Adam ruefully agrees.  Which leads to Ronan having to see a half-dressed Adam in his place all the time....things unfold naturally from there.  Sorry about all the words....I get carried away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two Boys Kissing

**Author's Note:**

> Title after the David Levithan Book "Two Boys Kissing". Which is amazing btw.

Blue _really_ wanted to get into that school.  A “reach” school her guidance counselor had called it, and early on, that had made it all feel a bit impossible.  It was an unattainable dream, but dream things were becoming real things all around Blue lately, so _impossible_ didn’t really seem too strong of a word anymore.  She was going to get in, no matter what.  She didn’t want to be the girl left behind when all her Raven Boys went off to bigger and better things.  (Though she wasn’t really sure anything in her life could be bigger or better than this past year) She didn’t want them to pity her: _Poor Blue Sargent, the only poverty twin unable to pull herself up and out._ No.  That wouldn’t be her.  Absolutely not.  Her grades were good, really good even, but there were still some things she needed to work on improving if she wanted to get in to her first choice school.  Those stupid electives!  Who knew they could bring her grade point average down?  Gym would be easy enough.  Her teacher was a customer of her mothers, so she lied and said that Mora had told her that she’d seen Blue brake her leg in vision, and she had been nervous all year about the forthcoming prophecy; _that_ is why she was missing class, _not_ because she found gym pointless.  Her teacher was sympathetic, and said that Blue could write a paper on the principles of the sports she missed, and would receive full credit.  _One down_ , Blue thought. 

The next one wouldn’t be so easy.  Everyone assumed that Blue should have some great natural talent for art because of how she dressed, and the fact that she was a loner at school, and basically just a little weird.  But besides from painting on her bedroom walls and cutting up clothes to make weirder, “holier” things, she just couldn’t get herself inspired this year.  There was too much on her mind, too much to distract her.  Mostly she spent the period doodling dream things onto her papers: dark birds with shiny eyes, crowns, and a particularly lovely pair of full lips, over and over and over again.  They definitely were not Richard Campbell Gansey III.   Currently Blue was receiving a B-, a grade teetering precariously close to a C.  It was her lowest one.  She also knew that ecologists often had to draw the specimens they were working with, which meant that this would not be a grade that would be overlooked as trivial, even if it didn’t affect her GPA too badly.  Her only chance to get that A would be her final project.  A series of figure studies.  _Ugh!_

 This was a problem because there was no one to pose for her.  It was NOT that she was embarrassed to draw the chaotic women of her home…no.  She wasn’t really embarrassed to draw them; it was just that it was never quite enough to get one of them to sit still for any length of time.  She didn’t really have any friends at school to ask, and could not imagine bringing herself to ask any of her Raven Boys.   Noah might say yes, to help her, but he would flicker too much and she need to _see_ all of him. Ronan….HA!  And Gansey – Blue blushed.  There would be no way she could get through that, as much as the idea seemed appealing.  And Adam was just too busy…also he would never, not for Blue anymore at least.  No.  She was doomed. 

That night Adam came over to study with Calla and Maura.  Even though Persephone was his original teacher, and he had thought his lessons would end after her death, the women at 300 Fox way decided that if Persephone had saw something in him, that they should help nurture that.  So, once a week Adam would come over for some casual lessons on herbs, Tarot readings, and some of the more in-depth parts of skrying and being a clairvoyant.  Adam was getting better every day.  His natural intuition and ability to read people were is God given gifts, but once Cabeswater got into his blood, there was really no telling how powerful he would become.   Calla thought it was practical to stay on his good side.  Maura just wanted to make sure he had at least one decent meal a week.  He always stayed for dinner.  It was not a request.    There were however, parts of Adam, that no matter how powerful he became, or how comfortable and welcome he felt at Blue’s home, he could not shed so easily.   His complete abhorrence to charity was one of them.  And while it never felt like taking a handout when Persephone was aiding him, (it was just something that seemed to unfold naturally) the way Maura, Blue and even Calla fused over him, and the now school-like precision of all his lessons, felt more like something he should be paying for.  Of course they would never accept it, not that he really had anything to offer them anyway.  But it was wearing.  It’s for Persephone they claimed, no problem at all!  But Adam knew the time they lost, not just to their meetings, but to planning them out, discussing their next course of action amongst the ladies there - the extra cost of adding another plate to the dinner table.  He had been meeting with them long enough now to tally up the cost of their time and his portion of food in his mind.    It was getting a little high.  It was starting to feel like too much.  He couldn’t accept it any longer, but he also knew he needed their help.  He also knew he couldn’t afford to pay them. 

Adam slumped down in the front seat of the hondaoyta and turned the engine off once he pulled into the drive of 300 Fox way.  He took a deep breath, and felt miserable because he didn’t see an option out.  Even if he decided to leave, abandon the lessons, and work to pay them back for the time they already lost some other way, he knew they really wouldn’t let him go.  Could he do house work for them?  Were there things maybe they needed a man for around the house?   Adam imagined asking Calla that question and then shivered at the outcome.  He didn’t not expect that THAT would go over well.  “So, you think we're all so meek and feeble, that we’ve just been waiting around for a man, do you!”  He could hear her screaming at him.  Also, if there was anything difficult, they also had Mr. Grey, and Adam bet he was a lot more capable for heavy lifting than he was.  He took a deep breath.  He couldn’t pay them, and he couldn’t leave.  Misery and self loathing it was then. 

He sighed deeply and got out of the car slow.  He wished for a moment he could be like Ronan.  Indignation lighting him up like an old Christmas tree on fire.  He wished he could tap into that anger, let it burn every other feeling out of him.  He thought of the way Ronan’s mouth curled when he was angry.   He thought about the way the veins stood at attention on his arms and hands…the way he burned so hot, but looked so cool on the outside.  Adam wondered if anyone else noticed the red flush that would work its way down from Ronan’s ears, to his necks, and then disappearing into his tattoo and under his shirt, when he was really ferocious.  Probably not.  _Probably, no one but you.  You shouldn’t notice that stuff either._  He thought, then sighed deeply and all but crawled out of the car.

 

Blue was on the front step looking equally disgruntled.  He sat down next to her.  They each gave a small nod and then set their faces in their palms and brooded miserably.

After a couple minutes Calla called out.  “When that boy gets here, tell him we’re in the kitchen!  He’s already late!” she barked.

 “He’s not late!”  Blue howled.  “He’s here with me!” 

Calla stuck her head out the window, as if she didn’t believe Blue.  

“Well for Christ Sake!   Just look at you two.” She snarled.  Blue and Adam regarded each other solemnly, not seeing anything wrong about the situation. 

Calla shook her head.  “OH!  ENOUGH OF THIS!”  She waved her hands, signaling Adam to get up. 

“BLUE!  He’ll do it for you!  ADAM!  You can pay back Blue for all this if you must!  She’s the one that cooks when you’re here anyway.”  And she disappeared inside, but not before yelling once more.  “Hurry Up!  We don’t have all day!”

Adam was confused; he looked at Blue for solidarity, but only found her beaming at him.  All the weight seemingly lifted off her shoulders, but nothing any clearer for him. 

“Oh!  Thank you Adam!  It’ll hardly take any time, I promise!”

 She jumped up and trilled “Oh! You’ll be just perfect.  I’ll call Gansey!”  Before running back into the house.

Adam sighed once again, stood and shoved his hands in his pockets, then walked inside.

 

During a skrying session over a bowl of ruined coffee Orla had tried to brew up, Adam saw something truly disturbing.  It was him, sitting on a stool wearing nothing but his coveralls, the top part unzipped, so only his legs were covered by cloth.  He could feel the air conditioning, chilling on his bare chest, and too many sets of eyes watching him.  And there in his mouth, held tightly between his teeth was a single blue lily. 

Pulling himself back to his body, he looked up - all the women of 300 Fox way were grinning at him.  Adam just shook his head, not really comprehending, just confused, and a little embarrassed.  A deep crease pitted between his eyebrows, but then he heard Blue call “I’m ready!”  He turned his head and saw Blue in the doorway, her shoes on, and about four sketchpads and a box of pencils in her hand.

Realization dawned on him.

_________________________________________________________________________________

 

“Wait.  What’s happening now?”  Ronan asked.

Noah just grinned at him. 

“Jane and Adam are on their way over.  Apparently, Jane needs a quiet place with good light to draw Adam for a school project.  She asked if she could do it here.  I said yes.”

“Why can’t they do it at her house, or Adam’s apartment?”

“Well, I guess her place is too busy, and his is too dark.”

“And hot!” Noah added in.

“Yes.” Gansey agreed. “It would be much to hot there to do any work for an extended amount of time.  I’m not sure how Adam puts up with it most nights to be honest.”

“Aaaand….Adam agreed to this?”  Ronan asked again.  His eyebrows pitched high over his wide eyes.  He looked like he was going to break out into laughter.

“YES!” Noah practically squealed.  “I think they’re guilting him somehow.”

All three boys looked equally amused and a little anxious over what this would entail.  The downstairs door slammed and they could suddenly all hear Blue talking animatedly about the organisms she would need to draw if she got into the college program she wanted, and how _Don’t worry, this will be very tasteful._

Ronan let out a short “Bah!” before he reined himself in and went to the Kitchen/bathroom/laundry for a drink.  Gansey let them both in and asked Blue what she would need from him.

“Oh, nothing.  Just, thanks for letting me use your place.  I need a whole portfolio worth of a subject, so I need to get to work right away.  It’s been a real long time since I focused on my drawing, so I’ll probably be pretty terrible to begin with. 

“Oh I doubt that, Jane.”  Gansey cooed.  All ease and friendliness.

Noah was levitating out of excitement.

When Ronan walked back into the room he noticed Adam leaning back against the door he’d just walked through looking like he wished he could disappear back through it.  He hung his head low, while Gansey and Blue gabbed.  Ronan snorted.  Didn’t anyone notice how unhappy Adam was about this?  Did they even ask him?  _He probably wouldn’t complain either way,_ Ronan thought _.   Too damn courteous._

What he said was “Loose your balls somewhere along the way today Parrish?

Adam didn’t look up but gave a half-hearted chuckled before he said.  “Fuck off, Lynch.”

This exchange caught the attention of Blue and Gansey, who stopped talking and had the decency to look at least slightly abashed for completely zoning everyone else out. 

Blue shot Ronan a nasty glare, but he just took a gulp of his beer and retreated to his room. 

“Let’s just get his over with” Adam said behind him.  Ronan just sighed, and went to take a nap.

He dreamed of tall trees and fields of flowers.  Someone was calling his name, calling him to them, he wanted to follow the voice, but suddenly laughter from inside Monmouth woke him from his sleep.  He lay there in bed for a moment, not able to move, but getting angry that he was woken up from a pleasant dream…there had been so few of them lately.  Once he could walk, he stormed out into the main room ready to gripe, only to stop dead in his tracks.  There was Adam perched on a stool, topless.  His coveralls were unzipped so that they hung down low off his waist and dangled below the stool. His shirt was nowhere to be seen.  One knee was up, foot settled on the middle rung, while the other leg was stretched out, lean and relaxed, showcasing just how long Adams legs really were.  All the air was sucked out of Ronan’s chest.  He couldn’t remember why he even came out here.  He just stood, staring.  Adam looked away toward the light coming in from the large windows.  It bathed him in gold, highlighting the dips and curves of his shoulders, and back, and arms.  Ronan gulped.  There was too much spit in his mouth.  He’d never seen Adam topless before, and hadn’t expected him to be so toned.  His chest was paler than his arms, and Ronan couldn’t pull his eyes away from the tan line that ran across one perfectly sculpted bicep. 

“What the Fuck.”  The words tumbled out of his lips.  No venom, just surprise…awe.

Adam stiffened, but Gansey, Blue, and Noah all at once looked to Ronan.  They had been laughing at something.  Their eyes still sparkled with it.  Ronan looked to Adam then, and their eyes met.  Adam’s cheeks turned pink at the added attention, and the flush spread, tantalizingly down to his abs, in a wave of strawberry milk.  Ronan swallowed something heavy again, nothing was sitting well in his stomach, it was stirring, hot and tumultuous, low in his belly.

“Sorry.” Gansey said.  “Did we wake you?”

“Uhhhh” was all Ronan would manage.

Noah’s expression was wry.  “What was that Ronan?  Pardon?”

Ronan shot him his worst glare.

Noah just smiled back at him.  All teeth.

“Sorry.” Blue said.  “I was just telling Adam how I should hang these up in my school, and he’d have all the girl numbers he could handle.”

“Yeah, Ha. Ha. Great.”  Adam said, with absolutely zero inflection, flushing even more.  Ronan still couldn’t speak; he was hazy with the nap still clinging to him. 

In a self conscious move, Adam lifted his arm and ran his hand through his hair.  All the muscles in his body twisted with the movement, and Ronan noticed the dark hair peeking out from under his belly button and under his arm.  He thought he might die.

“OH MY GOD!  Adam!  Don’t Move!”  Blue gasped.  She started scribbling furiously.  Gansey and Noah watched her progress, enthralled over her shoulder.  But Ronan couldn’t look away from the subject.

Adam was stuck, his arm over his head, posed like a model, and Ronan thought he looked as though he might die too.   Ronan smiled. 

“Oh c'mon, guys.”  Adam whined.  “This is so embarrassing.  I can’t possibly owe your family that much.  Please, Blue.  Can I be done?”

“I’m going to need more….but for today.  I guess.  I’m sorry.  I didn’t realize how long it’s been.   You’re a great model.”

“Yeah, HAH!” Adam snorted reaching down for his shirt.  Ronan had to look away because the way his body moved as he completed the task was too much to witness, at least in front of all these people.  He’d probably think about it later in detail.

“No really!”  Blue pressed.  “I was on a role!  You’re just so….expressive!”

Ronan caught Gansey’s eye then.  There was something there, but Gansey quickly looked away, hiding it.

“Are these all from today?”  Ronan asked, moving over to Blue, and looking down at her drawings.

“Yeah!”  Blue said, obviously pleased.  She had one notebook full with pencil drawings and rough charcoal sketches, fine detail drawings of Adam’s nose, or his jaw, or his fingers. 

Ronan had to stop himself from reaching out and touching the drawings.  He pulled his hand back, and shoved it in his pocket. 

“They’re real good maggot.” He said.  Because it was true, she’d gotten Adam exactly.  He wanted to steal them.

Blue beamed, and then caught something stuck in Ronan’s sleeve.  He hadn’t noticed it before, but when she reached out, he noticed it was a small blue lily.  It must have gotten snagged on his shirt while he was dreaming.  Blue grabbed it and ran up to Adam who was hurriedly zipping his coveralls as high as they would go.  Ronan silently mourned the loss. 

“Here” Blue said and she stuffed them stem between Adam’s lips with her fingers and giggled.  “Now, you’re a real model!” 

Gansey shot Ronan a look again then.  This time, he didn’t look down after, but his eyes darted between Adam and Blue, back and forth, back and forth.  Was Gansey jealous?  _Takes one to know one._   Ronan thought bitterly. 

Adam, eyes still cast down, took the flower from his lips.  He got up and handed it back to Ronan in a gesture that was so casual and off hand that Ronan couldn’t find any meaning in it.  He held the flower tight in his first. 

“Do you want me to take you home now Blue?”  Adam asked, walking to the door.  “I need to get some sleep before my early shift tomorrow before school.”

Blue looked to Gansey…”Errr, I was hoping to look at some of these art books Gansey was telling me about.  Could you bring me home later?”  She asked Gansey.  Their eyes suspiciously not meeting.  “Sure thing Jane.”  Gansey said, a paragon of polite detachment.

  Adam nodded, slowly and then walked out the door.  He looked absolutely exhausted. 

When the door shut Ronan took in a deep breath, filling his hallow lungs with air, he felt like he could finally breathe.  He looked back to Gansey and Blue who were already a few feet closer together than they were just moments ago when Adam was still in the room.  He raised an eyebrow at them, but then decided, who was he to cast stones?  He went to get another beer from the fridge, and took it to his room without another word.  Ronan lay on his bed, his head swimming.  He took the small blue flower from his hand and touched it slowly to his lips.  His heart was a simmering ember.  He fell back asleep.  This time no one woke him, and under the heavy trees he found the boy who had been calling his name before.  He reached out to Ronan a hand of finely sketched fingers, and together they disappeared into the woods.

 

After school the next day Ronan drove home with Gansey as usual.  But unlike as usual they stopped at Blues house to pick her up on the way.  “Hello Jane!”  Gansey said as Blue hoped into the back seat.  Gansey was using his honest happy voice, and Ronan tried not to simmer too loudly.

When they finally got to Monmouth manufacturing Adam was already there.  He was waiting in his car; head leaned back on the seat, possibly asleep.  “Way to crack that whip Maggot.”  Ronan said, not able to feel a little crushed at the bags under Adam’s eyes.  It was easier to just place that blame on Blue. 

After less than an hour of posing, Adam fell asleep.  Blue had him seated this time on Gansey’s bed.  And while Adam initially protested, Gansey did point out, to the glee of Blue, that his bed was much more comfortable that a stool and he could probably get a few winks in.  That sealed it.  And he did.

 Initially Blue had him sitting cross-legged with his back to them because she said she needed to work on her heads, and shoulder blades.  But after Adams head starting hitting his shoulder and then bobbing back up, just to fall down again.  Blue suggested a relaxed, laying down pose. Gansey approved.  She scribbled furiously.  Gansey and Noah were as rapted by her process as yesterday.  Ronan tried to stay in his room, though the extreme quiet was killing him with curiosity.  He walked out.  It was another immediate punch to his chest.  Adam lay across Gansey’s bed bare-chested, one hand rested across his face, the weight of a finger tugging gently at his bottom lip.  He shifted in his sleep, his school pants getting pushed even lower on his hips, his stomach rising and falling gently with his heart beat. 

 “This is the pose.”  Noah said reverently.  “This is _so_ the pose.”  Blue agreed.  Gansey nodded his head despite himself, just as lost in the natural beauty of sleeping Adam as the rest of them.  It seemed they were all under Adams sleepy spell. 

“Can’t you fucking do this shit anywhere else?”  Ronan spat, kicking a pizza box across the floor. “Our place isn’t your damn brothel.”   The sound of Ronan’s angry voice stirred Adam again, but did not wake him.  They all “shushed” him, looking only slightly annoyed at his rude behavior.  Adam shifted again, and they all held their breath nervously, as if the whisper wind of their breathing could break the spell.  Messily rubbing his hand across his mouth, he rolled onto his stomach, and mumbled “Ro-no”.

Three pairs of eyes shot over to look sharply at Ronan, who just stared at Adam.  _Rono?_ He tried not to look at the expanse of underwear peeking out over his pants, exposing the rounded curve of his perfectly high ass, and said “Let the poor fucker get some sleep.” All his anger was gone.

 He turned on his heel, grabbed his keys, and walked out.  He needed some air.  He needed to drive.  He needed to stop picturing Adam, so relaxed, so haphazardly dressed, sprawled across that large bed in his home.  _What the FUCK is Rono?_ He turned the keys in the ignition and peeled loudly out of the parking lot, the screech of the tires wailing for mercy, and Adam woke suddenly, sitting bolt upright upstairs.  

“Damn, guys…” He said groggily.  “I didn’t mean to fall asleep.  Was that Rono-Ronan? (He stuttered) making all that noise?”  Gansey, Blue and Noah shared a conspiratorial glance.  “You have work tonight?” Gansey asked.  “No, just this morning….was going to get some homework done.” 

“Great!  How bout we drive Blue home, and then you and I go to Nino’s to study.”

“Me too.” Says Noah!

Ronan sleeps at the Barnes.

 

Two days later Ronan begrudgingly wakes up for school.  He gets through his shower, brushing his teeth and getting dressed and Gansey is still not awake. _What the hell?_   Ronan wonders.  _Is he sick or something?_ Ronan walks over to Gansey bed, and stiffens when he sees Adam asleep and not Gansey.  Adam never stays at Monmouth.  He didn’t even know Adam had been there last night.  He didn’t get in until after 3 and by then all the lights were off.   He reached out to touch him, to shake him awake, but hesitated.  His hand hovered an inch over Adam’s shoulder, and then traveled down, down, never touching, just pretending he could, the length of Adam’s arm, to his hand.  He stopped over his hand.  His whole body ached to squeeze his fingers.  So simple.  They were just hands.  But they were Adams hands….and they were right there.  He’d just need to reach out an inch, and then…..  

Warm fingers brushed against the tips of Ronan’s.  Adam’s pointer finger traced the line from the crook of Ronan’s thumb to the tip of his finger and then back again.  Their fingers entwined.  Ronan looked at Adams face.  He was smiling at him, so happy through half lidded eyes.  Ronan just stared at him, his own eyes wide and unblinking, not knowing what to do; all thoughts and no thoughts at all were running through his mind.  He was a void.  He contained everything in the universe and it was all colliding within him.  _Shit Shit Shit shit_   But - Adam was smiling at him, drowsy and adorable and half drunk looking.  He was sitting up now, still holding onto Ronan’s hand, the sheet falling off his chest onto his lap.  Adam leaned in ever so slightly, like he wanted to share his warmth, and Ronan leaned back.  For a second Adam looked confused, like he wasn’t sure where he was, and Ronan realized that maybe he didn’t.  He wasn’t fully awake.  “Ro….”  Adam began, but then his eyes cleared.  He seemed to realize three things all at once:  One, he was half naked.  Two, he was holding Ronan’s hand.  And Three, he had been smiling at him like a schoolgirl for the better part of a minute.    His smile faltered as he took in Ronan’s shocked expressed.  He dropped his hand, and scrambled across the bed looking for his shirt.  “Fuck!  I knew Gansey wouldn’t really wake me!  What time is it?”  He wouldn’t look at Ronan now, as if they’d used up their eye contact quota for the day. 

“It’s almost 7.”  Ronan answered. 

“SHIT!”  Adam said more loudly now.  Finding his shirt and running to the bathroom to pee.  Ronan just sat there on the edge of Gansey bed and tried to slow his heartbeat.  Adam came out and put his shirt on with one of those over the arm-over-the-head twists the show off everything.  Ronan noticed.  “Are you fucking shitting me right now?”  Ronan said.  It was too early for this shit.  His skin was prickling.

“No!”  Adam said annoyed, and clearly misunderstanding.  “I told him that I had to go right from school to work, so I couldn’t sleep over.  That I needed my work bag, and clothes, and A SHOWER!” 

Ronan rolled his eyes.  “C'mon.” 

“What?”  Adam asked, his voice still tightly wound.

“GANSEY!  WAKE UP!  YOU’RE GOING TO BE LATE AND LOOSE YOUR TEACHERS PET STATUS!  I’M TAKING PARRISH TO GET HIS SHIT!  SEE YOU IN LATIN.”

Ronan looked at Adam and jerked his head, the universal sign for “let’s go”.  And off they went. 

 

Once the door slammed shut behind them, Blue and Gansey peeked out from Noah’s room and sighed in relief.  “Well, that worked out in our favor!”  Gansey said, astonished.  His stomach had been in knots all morning thinking of ways to explain the way he and Blue had fallen asleep. He placed the back of his hand to her cheek, and she sighed.  “I need to go home now….my mother is going to kill me.”

Gansey just nodded. 

 

 

Ronan and Adam drove in silence until finally Ronan said “So, why are you doing this thing for Blue.  You don’t seem to love it.”

Adam rubbed a hand over his face.  His fingers permanently stained from grease.  “Oh, I don’t know…”  His Henrietta accent was thick, betraying how sleepy he still was.  “It’s the only way I can pay her family back.”

“Uh, what? Parrish….are you still asleep?”

“No, it’s – I mean her mom, Calla, and Blue…they’ve all spent so much time working with me to understand Cabeswater better.   They don’t have to, but they do.   It’s too much.  They feed me too.  I have no way to repay them.”

“Dammit Parrish…That’s. What. Friends. Do.”  Ronan risked a glance at Adam.  His eyes were closed, but he heaved a great sigh. 

“I know that.” He said. “So, I’m being a friend right back.”

“It’s not all….tit for tat. You know.”

“It is though.  It’s got to be.” Adam said.  Nodding in his resolution.

Ronan pulled into St. Agnes then.  Adam got out, and walked up to the driver side window. 

“Thanks man.  Damn – I won’t even have time to shower, before school, than I have work, It’s just…like…” he shook his head and said nothing more.

“I’ll take notes for you in first period.”

“You will?”

“Sure thing.  Take a shower.  You reek.”

“Thanks Ronan.”   Adam stared to walk away, but then Ronan said: “Adam?   About….”

Adam’s ears went so red at that, Ronan was sure he knew what he was going to say.  They just looked at each other for a moment…then said nothing.  “…my handwriting.  It’s terrible.”

Adam laughed.  Relief washing through him.  “Yeah, I know.”

“See ya.”

Ronan pulled away, his knuckles white on the steering wheel.

 

 

 

Ronan walked into Monmouth manufacturing late that night.  He opened the door slow.  Bracing himself to see Adam in some new appealing state of undress.  

No one was there.  He relaxed.   Ronan went straight from school to the Barnes, but he missed his bed tonight.  His back ached, and he wanted a shower, and a beer.  He opened the fridge and grabbed a bottle, opening it with his teeth, and walked into his room.  Setting the beer down he shuffled off his pants and pulled his tank off.  He dropped onto his bed with a “The Fuck?”

It was Adam.  Dear Mary-Saints-and-God-in-Heavn it was Adam. 

“Whoa!”Adam said, sleep coating his voice.  “Buy a guy a drink first” He giggled a little at himself, eyes barely open.  Ronan held out the bottle to him, happy to make it a joke, but Adam shook his head.  “Sorry.” Adam said, by means of explaination.  “Blue is sleeping in Noah’s room tonight.  Her mom gave her permission to stay, and Gansey said you’d probably be at the Barnes all night.”   Ronan just nodded.  “I can go sleep on Gansey’s bed.”  Ronan said.  “What? Gansey is sleeping there…You stay, I’ll drive home.”  Ronan didn’t have the heart to tell Adam that Gansey was not in fact, sleeping in his bed.  “You can’t drive dude.  You can hardly open your eyes.”  Ronan pushed Adam back down, there was no resistance, and his hand burned where he touched Adams chest.  Skin to skin.  Ronan tried to stand, but Adam, held his wrist keeping his hand pinned to his heart.  Ronan’s own raced.  Battery acid was coursing through him. 

“About…” This time it was Adam.  “This morning.  I’m sorry.  I think it was weird.  I didn’t mean to...”

Ronan didn’t pull away but he shook his head, trying to act casual.  Trying to act like this moment wasn’t what the entire world was spinning around. 

“You were half asleep Parrish….dreaming of Blue, I guess.”  He knew he shouldn’t have said it.  He knew, but he couldn’t help it. 

“I wasn’t.  I mean, I don’t dream about Blue.”

Ronan stayed quiet.

Seconds that felt like hours passed. 

“You could just stay here…I mean, your bed’s big enough.”  Adam looked somehow fragile when he said it, like he was waiting for a hit to come.  Some blow to strike him down.

“Yeah okay.”  Ronan said, leaning back onto the bed next to Adam.  Adam released his hand, and Ronan fought every instinct he had to pull away.  It felt like Adam should be poisonous for how badly his body wanted to jerk away from him, to run….but he didn’t, he stayed put.  He heart beat out a wild, uneven rhythm, and he could feel Adam’s was the same. 

“Do you ever dream about me?” Adam asked.  It was spoken so quietly, that he could've imagined it. 

“Yes.” He said simply. Flat.

“Good.” Adam said.  Ronan’s stomach boiled. 

“I dream about you a lot.” Adam admitted.  “Sometimes….they’re…confusing.”

“Confusing how?”  Ronan asked.  Impossibly his heart raced faster. 

 _Please God._   He prayed silently.  _Please God.  Don’t let this be a trick.  Do not fuck with me this way._

By way of answering Adam placed his palm on Ronan’s bare thigh.  Ronan felt his hand trembling.  A soft moan escaped his lips and he hated himself for it.  He knew Adam had heard. 

“Sometimes, I don’t know who I am.” Adam’s voice sounded scared, but so alive.

“Me either.” Ronan admitted.

“Can you…oh God….”Adam’s voice broke.  His hand started to really shake on Ronan’s leg.  He could feel Adam’s body trembling.  Ronan placed his hand on top of Adam’s, not to coax, but to ground – to give him strength for whatever he needed to say.

Adam took a deep breath.  A steadying breath.

“Can you kiss me?” He asked.  And Ronan wondered how the world was still spinning.  Why the whole world hadn’t stopped to acknowledge this moment. 

“Now?”  Ronan said.  And he hated himself even more.    _Now?  GOD!  What a thing to say._ His brain must have short-circuited.  He felt Adam tense.  “I mean- yeah.  Sure.”

Adam turned just the smallest fraction.  The bed dipped in at the movement, and Ronan and Adam rolled even closer together.

“Okay…so…” Ronan didn’t know what to do.  How to go about this…Adam was here, in his bed, asking to be kissed.  This is what he wanted, but now that he was here, it all seemed so complicated.  But then Adam reached out and placed his hand in the crook of Ronan’s neck, his finger moving so softly and slowly across Ronan’s hairline.   His body warmed, and it was all he needed.  He leaned in.  Adam’s lips were already slightly open, and when Ronan folded into them he felt Adam’s soft sight in his mouth.  This was it.

 Adam was it.

 He always felt like kissing Adam would be something shattering, but he never thought it’d be like coming home.  It’d be like Christmas fucking morning, but better, because this kind included Adam’s hands, and lips, and _OMG!_ Ronan groaned loudly.  Adam had rolled his hips out, and their bodies ground together for a moment, groin to groin.  Ronan felt Adam’s growing erection, only the thin fabric of their underwear separating them.  He might cry, he thought.  But then Adam moaned into his mouth and his fingers found their way into his scalp.  Then a different side of Ronan took over.  His brain switched.  Like a curtain had been drawn before, keeping out all the real, hungry things Ronan thought about Adam, only the uncertainly and trepidation could show before, but now - with Adam so willing, eager - the curtain was drawn aside, or maybe it burned down….but Ronan _knew_ what he wanted.  And if this was his chance he was going to take it for all it was worth and make Adam Parrish remember Ronan Lynch.

He put one hand behind Adams neck and the other behind his knee.  He pulled Adam with urgency, forcing their bodies together, hauling Adam’s one leg over own; Ronan nudged his thigh between Adams legs.  And at the same moment Ronan thrust his tongue deep into Adams mouth, tasting him completely.  They were as close as they could be.  Adam’s body twitched, and he made a strangled sound that was lost somewhere in their mouths- it just fueled the instinct that was taking Ronan over.  Adam went limp in his hands, he was putty, clay.  Ronan had him.  He knew he wasn’t going to pull away.  Adam grew to a pleasing and surprising size against Ronan’s hip and he wriggled against him, trying to alleviate some of the building tension, trying to ease his desire.  Ronan pulled his mouth away, and moved to Adams neck.  His collarbone.  He stuck his tongue in his ear.  Adam writhed beneath him, he couldn’t keep still.  God!  Ronan loved it.  Adam was so new, so wanton.  He needed to taste him.  He needed it more than he needed anything else in his life.  He was sure he’d die if he didn’t.  With both his hands he stilled Adam.  Rolling on top of him, he straddled him, forcing Adam's hips down into the mattress.  Ronan looked down on the boy.  All his bare skin, flushed with desire.  Desire for him!  Adam still squirmed.  But he wouldn’t look at him.  Ronan took his hand and not un-gently held Adams chin.  Very slowly, Adam brought his eyes up to Ronan’s.  They were cautious, scared maybe?  But whatever he saw in Ronan’s gaze relaxed him.  His body calmed.  Ronan was only going to ask this once, so he wanted to be very sure that Adam understood him.

“Are. You. Okay?”

Adam didn’t blink.  He didn’t move.  But very deliberately, he said. “Yes. - Don’t ask me again.”

“I wasn’t planning on it.”  Ronan grinned.  He leaned over him kissing him hard, both Adam’s wrists up above his head, held tight in Ronan’s grasp.  Then he brought one hand down to Adams cock.  He stroked it gently over the cheap, thin fabric.  “I think you really needed this Parrish.  You’ve been a real wack job lately.” 

“Shut the fuck uuuhh…”  Was all Adam could say, because at that moment Ronan slipped his hand under his shorts and gripped him tightly in his hand.  Ronan smiled a smile that said: _I win._

“You’re an asshole” Adam finally managed once he could breathe again. 

“Yeah I know.”  Ronan grinned that sly grin of his, the one that bordered on cruelty, but when he watched how easily Adam came undone beneath him he added.  “This is just for you....I mean, not the meanness - I don’t want to be mean.  I’ve just wanted this for so long.  I need to draw it out.  Just in case….in case..." 

Adam smiled at him.  “No, incase.”  It looked like Adam was going to try and say something sincere then, but Ronan couldn’t.  Not yet.  He wanted to live here, in this moment, all skin and sweat, let future Ronan deal with the rest, the fall out.  When Adam opened his mouth to talk Ronan took two fingers and pushed them into Adams mouth, they slid across the slickness of his tongue.  He didn’t push them in too far.  Just enough to shut him up.  It worked.  Adam’s eyes rolled back a little, closing, as he closed his mouth and sucked gently.  Ronan hissed.  God Damn Parrish was sexy.  Ronan spit on his hand and worked Adam’s cock more thoroughly.   He could feel Adam’s moan vibrating through his fingers as his tongue lapped at him.   _Oh God._ Could this alone undo him? 

He had to focus on something other than Adams heaving chest, and the way his tongue swirled around his fingers, wet and hot and …”Let me suck you off.”  Ronan heard himself say it before he had even decided to say it.  Adam perched up on his elbows, releasing Ronan’s fingers from his mouth.  He looked unsure.  It couldn’t be because Ronan was a guy?…I mean, they’d gone this far.  He must be sort of into Ronan, if what he felt in his grip was any indication.  Ronan faltered, despite himself.  He let go of Adam, backing off.  “I’m sorry, is it me?  I’m…” 

“No!”  Adam reached up, pulling Ronan back to him.  “It’s just - I’ve never...I don’t know how…”  Adam shook his head, he looked ashamed. 

“Me either.”  Ronan said.  Having the grace to look at least a little sheepish. 

“Really?”  Adam asked looking surprised.

“YES.”  He snarled. “Why is that so hard to believe?  Not too many Aglionby fags around.”

“Is that what this is?”  Adam asked again.  He knew Ronan was trying to make a joke, to lighten the mood, but he also didn’t want this to be just a hookup, just to get the first awkward time out of the way.

“What?  What are you asking me?” Ronan wasn’t sure.

“Is this just because I’m a guy, and willing?  Am I practice?” Adam’s voice lost all its softness. 

Ronan hung his head.  Adam watched his body coil tight, he shook a little.  Ronan Lynch was a miracle of a person, and Adam knew it better than anyone, so watching him struggle with words, while mostly naked between his legs was the most surreal experience of his life.  It made him feel powerful, and more alive than ever before.

“Adam." Ronan's voice was tight, stern.   "I can’t….I don’t know how to even explain how badly I want to be with you.  Not just because you’re a guy, I don’t need that.  I don’t crave _that.”_

“Are you trying to tell me right now you don’t crave sex?”  Adam raised an eyebrow at him.

Ronan just scoffed “Pfphhh!”  He leveled his gaze at him.

“I don’t _need_ it.  I didn’t say I didn’t want it.  But I _need_ you.”

Adam smiled and Ronan continued, both his hands bracing himself on Adams knees. 

“Listen, I don’t know why….no, that’s not true.  I do know why.  You’re fucking super smart.  You’re like the strongest person I know.  You’re honest and bat-shit crazy, and you get me, and...”  “He looked down, unable to look at Adam anymore.  “You’re beautiful.  Your hands, your eyes….I dream about them.  All the time.  It’s not other boys.  It’s just you.”

Something was expanding in Adam.  He felt like his fuse had been lit, but now he was burning so hot he didn’t know how his body would contain it all.  Surely he would explode.  He couldn’t take his eyes off Ronan’s body, how he was curled in to Adam, like he was the only bit of warmth in the world.  Adam thought of the Ronan he thought he knew, it sent a thrill through him, that _that_  boy was between his legs, confessing to him.  Adam thought he loved him back.  Yes.  He fucking loved him crazy.

Adam leaned forward and kissed him.  He kept pushing, their lips couldn’t get close enough, and their bodies couldn’t get close enough.  Ronan fell backwards under Adam’s assault.  With Adam on top of him, kissing him wild, like he was starving, Ronan gasped….he couldn’t catch his breath.  For a terrifyingly wild second, he was worried Adam might actually try to consume him.  But then he settled into it, let the feeling wash him under, take him down.  He gave in, and then they were no longer two boys kissing, but one pile of legs and arms and tongues, and eyes, and fingers, and belly buttons and pinches, and gasps, and hushed laughter.  They were all sweaty and tight and full of anticipation and need all over again.

Ronan sat up.  He looked at Adam, his eyes held the question.  It was up to Adam now.  Adam let himself fall backwards on his back.  Both arms bent and covering his face.  _He’s still nervous,_ Ronan thought.  Good.  So was he.  He bent down and kissed Adam once, quick on the lips.  He moved down to his neck and chest, he paid attention to his ribs, licking the sides in feather light strokes.  Adam arched his back.  His breathing was heavy.    Ronan moved down to his belly, dipping his tongue into his belly button.  He savored that part.  He’d dreamt about it once, and was sure it would never happen.   Keeping his hands as steady as he could he hooked his fingers into Adams boxer shorts.  He scooted down so he could reach and kissed along each protruding hip bone.  First light kisses, then sucking ones where he dipped his tongue into the sensitive nook at their base.  As he pulled the shorts down he followed the path with the tip of his tongue.  Adams breath hitched as his hips bucked up.  His dick poked Ronan under his chin, and he laughed silently to himself.  “There it is.”  He growled.  Gently raking his hands down the inside of Adams thighs, his kisses getting close enough to torture Adam with desperation.  “Oh God, Ronan…”Adam moaned.

Hearing his voiced rasped out of Adams mouth like that, in a plea, turned him into wild Ronan again.  He grabbed the base of Adams dick and swirled his tongue around the head, before taking him all in with one deep gulp.  Adam cried out.  It sounded like it was unwillingly ripped from him.  Ronan looked up as Adam cupped his hands to his mouth, like even didn’t know where the noise came from. 

“Fucking quite Parrish…people are trying to sleep.” 

Adam smiled…”Well. Get back to work then.”  He said it so convincingly casual that Ronan laughed, almost choking on Adams cock. 

“Dammit.”  Ronan hissed as he pulled off to wipe the spit from his chin.  He got back to it.

“Sorry” Adam mumbled between groans.

Ronan knew the gist of what to do, and he imagined what he would like.  What would feel good.  And that seemed to be working fine for Adam.  Ronan couldn’t keep him still though.  Adam who usually was so still you couldn’t tell if he was awake or asleep was suddenly like one of the mechanical bull machines.  His legs kept hitching up, like he was kicking away something invisible.  His fists clenched and balled at his sides, then he’d reach up and pull his hair, or run his hand so gently over the back of Ronan’s head, like he didn’t know if it was allowed.  When Ronan took his balls in his hand and tugged gently Adam punched the wall beside the bed; not hard, but slow, like he needed to steady himself.

“Ronan…please….I can’t take anymore.” He whined.

“What do you want?  Tell me what to do.”

“Fast.  Harder.”

Ronan never needed to be told anything twice.  He gripped Adam firmly and jerked him indelicacy while keeping his mouth on him.  Ronan moaned.  “Is that it? Does that feel good?”  Ronan wasn't trying to engage in ditry talk.  He just really wanted to make Adam happy.  He wanted to be good for him.

“Oh God yes.  Yes.” Adam sighed.

Adam scraped his short nails over Ronan's head, pushing up into him.  Ronan didn’t mind.  Adam unhinged was something glorious.  And it was his doing.

“I’m going to cum.  I don’t know what you want me to do, but I can’t …..Now…Oh My-”

Ronan took him all in then, flattening his tongue along the sensitive ridge on the bottom of Adams dick. 

“Ro!”   Adam came.  He came so hard, his hips jerked up again, making Ronan really gag for the first time.  He worked to swallow him all down.  That would take practice though he thought.  It felt like a lot. 

Both of Adams arms flung over his head.  Ronan sat up and looked down at him, appreciating his handy work.  He looked like maybe he was hyperventilating.  Was that normal?  His chest rose and fell deeply, belly filling, then dipping to show the barest outline of ribs.  He was covered in sweat.  He actually glistened.  _Holy Fuck,_ Ronan thought.  This was literally the hottest thing he’d ever seen.  And he did it.  He did this to Adam Parrish.  He was like a puddle of molten pleasure.

“A bit tired are you now?”  Ronan asked.

“Ronan - LYNCH!”  Adam huffed.  “What the Fuck was that!”

“Uh…a blow job, I think.”

“Ha!  Yeah...I guess it was.   So what now?” 

“So now you go to sleep.  We can talk in the morning if you want.”  Ronan said.

“That is _not_ happening!”  Adam said, and for a second Ronan was nervous that he was going to want to pretend that this didn’t happen at all.  All of a sudden the extent and honesty of his confession was coming back to him.  _Fuck!….I’ve said too much.  Of course I did!  He was fucking straight yesterday, and I lay all this shit on him….what do I expect?_

But then Adam pushed on Ronan’s chest, urging him to lie down and moved down to his feet.  “No, I mean, I’m not just going to go to bed and leave you- like this.”  When he said “like this” he reached into the bottom of Ronan’s shorts and grabbed him.  Ronan yipped.  He hadn’t really expected a fair exchange tonight.  He definitely wasn’t going to ask for it. 

“Remember what I said the other day, Parrish?  It doesn’t always need to be tit for tat.  This is still new for you I think.  I don’t want to push…”

“I want to.”  Adam said crawling off the bed and onto his knees.  Ronan’s dick twitched.  He couldn’t help it, just looking at Adam normally did things to him, but Adam kneeling before him…wedging himself between his knees - he gulped.  Adam’s eyes looked wicked and wonderful.  

“Adam….” Ronan continued.  He reached out for him, ready to pull him back up off the floor.  He wanted to reassure, that they could just go to sleep.  Really.

But Adam said.  “Get your fucking hand away from me before I bite it.  I’m not coming to bed until I do this.”  Ronan gulped again.  Adam pushed at his chest, and Ronan leaned back on his elbows.  “Lift your ass up.” 

Ronan did as he was told.  Adam took the shorts off and then threw them aside.  He appraised Ronan’s erection and the then looked back at his face.  “Hello Mr. Lynch” he said smiling, eyebrows raised in appreciation.

“Are you for fucking real right now, Adam?”  Ronan asked surprised, and not just a little nervous.

Adam bit his bottom lip and gave Ronan’s dick tentative lick.  Ronan sucked in his breath.  

“Really though” Adam said, a bit of unease trickling back into his voice.  “I’ve never done this, so…I’ll try not to mess it up.”

“That’s not possible” Ronan said.  And he meant it. 

“Don’t watch me.” Adam said, as he gripped Ronan in his hand.

“Not possible.” Ronan repeated.

Adam just laughed lighty and shook his head, and then slipped Ronan into his mouth.  As soon as he did, Adam let out a sigh, as if he’d been waiting to do this forever.  Ronan pretended that he had.  He moved slowly, but not like he was unsure, more like he was savoring.  His grip on Ronan was strong, anchoring him.  He licked his way up and down, making a slurping noise when he got to his head.  Ronan realized he liked that he was being a little sloppy about it.  Finally, finally he took all of Ronan in his mouth.  He gripped Ronan’s hip, like he needed it to steady him, so he wouldn’t devour him.  “I've fantasized about this.” Adam admitted, a little sheepishly.

“Holy shit."  Ronan was breathing heavy.  He was gripping the bed so hard his hands hurt.   "For real?”

“Yeah.” Adam said between licks.  He was pumping him faster now, moaning around Ronan, wanting to let him know how much he had wanted this.

“Adam…oh my god.”

“Is this good?”Adam asked, looking up into Ronan's half-closed eyes.

Ronan just nodded in response.  Words were escaping him at the moment.

He couldn't quite believe he was in this moment - living it.  He felt like he was watching it from outside himself - like a dream.  

Everything was starting to feel very tight, he knew he wouldn't last... he wasn't sure how he'd made it even this far, with Adam looking at him, and touching him like he was.

"Shit -I really like this.  Like you like this."  Adam whispered between slides.

That was it.  Ronan came, swallowing down a curse as Adam worked him through it, gentle and totally free of judgement.  

Ronan was sure that if Adam wasn't still holding him, he would float away.  He was so damn light.

 

 

With the euphoria of the moment wearing off, Adam wondered if he should be at least a little embarrassed at how easily that came to him, but he figured it was just because it was Ronan.  They knew each other so well already.  Now that they did this, it seemed like such a natural extension of their relationship.  He only ever wanted Ronan to feel good.  To feel happy.  Now he had another way he could make that happen; a way without fast cars, shopping carts, or parking lot fights.  He let Ronan pull him back up on the bed.  He was still a little turned on…Ronan looked so hot, but sleep was already pulling him under.  They lay next to each other and Ronan kissed Adam on the lips, his fingers gently tilting his chin up meet him. 

“Well…that was unexpected.”  Ronan said.

“And hot.” Adam added, his voice already softened by fatigue.

Ronan’s heart swelled.  He wrapped his arms around Adam and pulled him close.  He reached down to the bottom of the bed and pulled a silky-soft sheet over them both. 

“Now sleep, Parrish.”

Adam curled into him then, nudging his nose into the crook of Ronan’s neck, and wedging his cold feet between Ronan’s warm legs. 

Ronan breathed in the smell of Adams hair.  They fell asleep as close as they could be.  Both smiling.  Both dreaming of fireworks with lights so bright their souls felt lighter too.

 

 

Epilogue

 

Gansey and Blue held each other in the other room.  Blue giggled.

“Well, damn.” Gansey said.  “I guess we don’t really need to worry about telling Adam now!”

“No, I don’t think we do.”  Blue agreed.  But then she pouted.

Gansey tilted his head, and turned her chin slightly to look at her.

“What is it Jane?  Are you still worried he may be upset, because…”

“No, not that, it’s just….they can be together so easily and we…we can never…”

Blue turned an enticing shade of crimson, and knowing that Blue was thinking those thoughts, made Gansey feel a little wild himself, like all his moorings were coming loose.  He felt the blush rise onto his face.  “Oh Jane…maybe, one day.   We’ll figure this out.  I promise.  We’ve got nothing but time.”

Blue let out a little sob at that.  Gansey brushed the hair from her face.  “It’ll be okay.”  He promised.  He lay back down and pulled Blue along with him.  She curled into his side, resting her head on his chest.  She cherished the sound of his heartbeat.  Gansey wiped a tear from her cheek and kissed the top of her head. 

“I love you.”  Blue whispered into his chest.

Gansey sighed, and took a deep breath.

“Je t'aime Blue”

“Don’t be a Dick.”

Gansey just laughed and kissed her head again.  “Goodnight.”  He whispered into her hair.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(Sorry I can't figure out how to indent.  Formatting is not my jam.)


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